bah humbug
“An ant is what it is and a grasshopper is what it is. And Christmas, sir, is a humbug!”
Just occasionally, events appear to conspire to make a commentary more pertinent and more relevant than is usually the case. Needless to say this is what’s happened of late so, for this not-so-wee blog feature in the run-up to the festive period, pull-up a seat, crack open a beer, make yourself comfortable and I’ll begin…
One of the things I get called upon every so often to do is give a talk to six-formers of various schools in the locality and I have to admit I relish doing it. Last week’s missive proved as much fun as ever, as the assembled throng of young adults truly represent our future, and, try as they might to disguise it in that offhand and effortlessly cool teenage manner, embody all of society’s future hopes and aspirations. The presentation focusses, light-heartedly, on ‘what do you want to be when you grow-up’ and goes on to explain that, short of the big ‘what’s it all about, Alfie’ question, this is a topic that stays with us, and even at retirement, it’s the one that keeps us awake at night!
Anyway, without going into too much detail, one of the key things I try to impress on the audience is the need to continually think about building, developing & enhancing transferable skills: skills that will stand them in good stead for the changing nature of the world of employment they are about to embark upon; skills that allow smooth transfer from one role to another, often from one industry to another and from one locality to another; skills that will allow them to get the most from the their next forty years’ gainful employ in terms of enjoyment and security. The days of expecting to be doing the same job at the end of your working life as when you started, are long since gone, and the actions of the employed need to rapidly take account of this. I’m pretty sure The Chingford Skinhead didn’t recognise quite how prescient his words would prove to be when he demanded we all get on our bikes.
All this was brought into sharp focus this weekend as I read about the closure of our last working mine, Kellingley colliery, and I have no doubt that many, if not all, the 450 now redundant miners, considered this to be a job for life. How wrong could they have been. And in a cruel twist of fate, the redundancy package the men will now receive will be less than they would have received under Thatcher-the-Hatchet. It is bizarre at best and downright scandalous at worst, to think of Thatcher’s mine-closing, workers-rights-restricting government as the more generous spirited, but there it is. No need to worry about your power though, as coal for the nearby Drax powerplant will be imported from America & Columbia, to the tune of four million tonnes a year. Yep, you heard it right.
However, you’ll be glad to know that it’s not all doom & gloom for Kellingley’s ex-workforce as they could always apply for a job at Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct distribution centre just down the road in Derbyshire. And why wouldn’t they want to decamp to a place of work known locally as ‘the gulag’? Would it be the universal use of clear plastic bags to allow for speedy lunch-parcel inspections, the on-the-spot-strip-searches, wage deductions from the already minimum-wage for spending too long in the company-enforced security checks, immediate dismissal for contemplating your existence too long on the toilet, or even the banning of wearing the actual brands Sports Direct sells to prevent theft, that make it so darned attractive? Please be under no illusion that cheap sports-casual attire comes either guilt or responsibility free.
So, where exactly do I advise the young, eager and attentive listeners to consider plying their future trade? No idea, not a clue. Currently, over 25% of companies in the top 50 of the FTSE100 didn’t even exist ten years ago, so what do I know of the future. Not as much as the world’s leading consulting organisation, McKinsey, that’s for sure. In 1990, the world’s greatest & smartest minds at said company were tasked by one of the leading mobile companies to predict what the US market for cell phones would be worth, ten years’ hence. Vital stuff I think we’ll all agree. Studiously setting about the task with gravity and aplomb, McKinsey’s took over six months to analyse, pontificate, consult and strategise upon their task before coming up with the expensive answer. Nine and a half years’ later, their best shot proved to be over 99% out. Yep, they underestimated the market to the tune of almost 100%. Go figure. Perhaps they should have done.
Earlier today I watched the first of two films that I consider essential viewing at this time of year, the black & white version of Charles Dickens’ Scrooge, with Alistair Sim playing the unforgettable and eponymous Ebenezer. We all know the story of his eventual redemption but it’s always a worthy reminder to appreciate that he finally came round to Old Fezziwig’s way of thinking and realised that “money’s not what it’s all about”. No prizes for guessing that the other’s ‘A Wonderful Life’ where James Stewart’s George Bailey comes to realise the difference he’s made to the world by not following his own dreams and putting others’ first. I would have thoroughly enjoyed watching this film on Christmas eve but, when looking for my copy earlier, couldn’t find it and realised that whomever I’ve lent it to during the past year really are devoid of any Christmas spirit as they’ve chosen to keep it as their own self-acquired pressie. Bah, humbug! Merry Christmas one and all.
