so, what do you do?
Since being fortunate enough to pack up the ol’ nine-to-five a couple of years ago I’ve grown to dread the inevitable small talk/cocktail party intro question, ‘so what do you do?’ Invariably, the honest answer of ‘well, nothing really’ is greeted by either looks of mocking disbelief or the sound of spinning heels as the questioner realises I have no networking influence whatsoever and his time is better served elsewhere.
Self-help evangelists and business gurus have been promoting alternatives to ‘WDYD’ for years in the belief that impressive opening conversational gambits are the enlightened path to business building and network nirvana. Don’t ask the obvious they counsel, ask what they like to do for fun. Or ‘what’s important to you?’ And ‘what makes you feel keenly alive?’ What makes me feel keenly alive is heading for the door at a quickening pace and running for the hills when I ever get asked that question.
In the hope of appearing more exciting and risqué all the interrogator has achieved is making himself look like a d*ck. They’ve completely missed the point of small talk, which is to make a connection in a non-intimidating manner. It allows the individual to be as expansive or as closed as they wish to be, and both parties are happy to start a conversation on that basis. The follow-up however is key: ‘what does that mean on a day-to-day basis?’ and it’ll elicit all the information you could wish for whilst genuinely casting you in a good light. Be warned though, be careful what you wish for at your next social soiree as I’m going to be ready for your spinning heels when the answer’s still ‘well, nothing really’.
