locker room talk
Contrary to what he would have us all believe, I don’t think our Donald has spent much time in any locker-room. I, on the other hand, qualify as a bit of a locker-room expert and can be found loitering with intent of using someone else’s hot water on virtually a daily basis. President Trump is, however, quite right about the fact that there’s definitely a certain tone and timbre to many of the conversations that take place in this most testosterone-fuelled of environments. Sadly, almost exactly the opposite of what he believes to be the case.
Once the inevitable sports small-talk has been dispatched, I can categorically state that I have never participated in, witnessed or overheard, a conversation of sexual braggadocio where the protagonist claims to grabbed the fairer sex by their p*ssies and been able to get away with the proverbial murder as ‘they love it and will do anything for a celebrity’. Any such conversation would be as uncomfortable to hear as the one experienced by Simon Pegg in his own personal ‘Run Fatboy Run’ locker-room moment. No, the conversations I hear are of Donald’s more recent political & decision-making proclivity.
In the lead-up to both our own Brexit vote and the US presidential election, the airways in my local locker-room were dominated by political machinations more akin to Prime Minister’s question time. Leave. Remain. Remain and the status quo prevails. Leave and what becomes of us. Everyone had an opinion. and everyone wanted to hear yours. If push came to shove, I’d have to admit that my weekday locker-room was for leaving, whereas my weekend one, in leafy Surrey suburbia, was going nowhere fast. And since then? Trump. Clinton. Tweets and teasing. Fact and fake. Hilary and hilarity. Universally, Trump was dangerous: a loose cannon, armed & ready and with a hair’s trigger. And very small hands. But his tweets were great fun to read. Policy on the hoof and fired in 140 character bullets.
With voting done & dusted, both spaces are now resigned to whatever the future holds wrt to our precarious European economic & cultural position. There’s a certain ambivalence that permeates the sweat & steam and a feeling that we’re experiencing the calm before the inevitable storm. Mind, that’s not the case with Mr T. A palpable fear has taken root and no-one, but no-one’s laughing anymore. Furthermore, I’ve heard it said that those who voted for the new leader of the free world need to be ready to hold themselves accountable for the catastrophe that awaits us all. In the meantime, the good news is that political debate is very much alive & kicking and coming to a locker-room near you sometime very soon.
