ho ho ho to a mistletoe missive

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Christmas is when we cling hardest to tradition, as clearly evidenced by the fact that we all collectively eat turkey, even though, deep down, we know that almost any other meat tastes nicer! But, with a spoon of cranberry, bullet-ready sprouts, charred pigs-in-blankets and the bread sauce that no-one likes, Christmas dinner is imbued with all our hope, dreams, love and loss. In short, the festering season is about memories: the ones you have and the ones you’ll make.

It’s also a time when people come together, although, we’ve undoubtedly built a world that feels increasingly isolated. We socialise largely through screens, firing off texts and emails instead of bothering to call, while social media platforms designed to bring people together have unwittingly given megaphones to those who would critically divide us. Worldwide, populations have shifted from local communities into big cities and then, via the pandemic, back to tiny introspective groups. Unintentionally, we have created a world that currently feels displaced, lonely and fragmented. Yet still we want to connect.

On the basis that charity starts at home, conversation starts with you. Admittedly, it’s a rare beast who can cheerfully break the social taboo of talking to strangers without appearing entitled, weird or sinister, or drunk, but life would be both more interesting and more fun if more of us knew how to do it. And here is the nub of my yuletide plea: practice makes perfect and start now. Open a direct non-digital conversation with someone, other than Alexa, that you wouldn’t otherwise have had – maybe an acquaintance you’ve drifted away from, an ostracised family member or a neighbour you’ve always intentionally avoided. Furthermore, I positively demand you chat to the barman as he pulls your next socially-distanced pint and it would be downright rude to not wish a happy 2022 to anyone and everyone you pass on the obligatory New Year’s Day walk!

Obvs, it’s going to take a little more than a bit of small-talk to unite a community fragmented now by so much more than Brexit politics but every tiny social overture can have a surprisingly large impact on how we, and others, feel. The reason the Blair and Cameron establishments wrestled with the thorny idea of increasing the so-called social-capital is that all the evidence highlights that fostering goodwill and mutual trust has surprising positive benefits in the real economy. High social trust is a more powerful predictor of national prosperity and low trust is entirely destructive. Yes, I get this sounds all soft and fluffy but if there’s ever been a moment to suspend our natural cynicism it’s probably right now.

It’s time to take stock, to count our blessings and to make an effort to check on those around us, and I don’t mean buying an odious nosy-neighbour Ring doorbell. Reconnect. It’s a time where we need to see our world for its true, ever-surprising self, examine our position within it, celebrate common humanity and remember that kindness begets kindness. Sometimes it can start with something as pure and simple as a friendly smile and an open no-strings attached Christmas conflab. Go to it. Cherish your loved ones but don’t forget everyone else. Merry Christmas.