I make no apologies for lifting this, verbatim, from the superbly satirically-crafted pages of our premier finger-pointing rag, Private Eye. God Bless Ian Hislop and all who sail in him:

SNAP! Happy Families – The fun party game for Lockdown Evenings during these Corrupt Covid times:

Mrs Harding the Hopeless Case and Mr Harding the Hopeless Case’s Husband – Mrs, sorry Baroness, Dido Harding fails every Test, and disappears upwards without a Trace, picking-up every job going from her pals at Number 10 / …all while hubby John Penrose MP keeps a sharp lookout for nepotism or unfair favouritism as the Prime Minister’s Anti-Corruption Champion!

Mrs Bingham the Big Biller and Mrs Bingham the Big Biller’s Husband – Kate Bingham billed taxpayers £670,000.00 for PR support for her Vaccine Taskforce – but doesn’t need any help to share the good news about government spending with private equity pals / …meanwhile hubby Jesse Norman keeps the purse-strings tight as Financial Secretary to the Treasury. “Fiscal rectitude all the way!” he cries.

Mr Frayne the Focus Grouper and Mrs Frayne the Focus Groupers Wife – With his company Public First, James Frayne is finding out what taxpayers think – using £840,000.00 of their own money! / …and he’s helped by wife Rachel Wolf, who used to work for Mr Gove the Government Man, whose department awarded them the job without any competition, or even a contract!

Mr Warner the Wonk and Master Warner the Wonk’s Brother – Who crunches the numbers in Number 10? It’s data analyst, one of Mr Dom the Disruptor’s “weirdos and misfits” / …and here’s a big number for him: the nearly £1m in government contracts given to Faculty, the AI company run by his brother Marc!

Mr Dom the Disruptor and Mrs Dom the Disruptor’s Wife – Dominic Cummings can’t help smashing-up everything he sees – like public willingness to comply with the lockdown rules he flouts! / …while Mrs Mary Wakefield writes about her family’s coronavirus plights in the Spectator – but somehow forgets to include all the important bits!

Mrs Stratton the Strategic Comms Person and Mr Stratton the Strategic Comms Person’s Husband – Downing Street’s Press Secretary Allegra Stratton tells tall tales on behalf of the government / …while political editor James Forsyth writes them all down for the Spectator!

Mr Gove the Government Man and Mrs Gove the Government Man’s Wife – Michael Gove is busy running the country for the Prime Minister – but why does he have to keep denying leaking things to naughty journalists? / …while his journalist wife Sarah Vile keeps giving the inside line from government in her Mail and Mail on Sunday columns!

Ms Symonds the Silent Assassin and Mr Symonds the Silent Assassin’s Husband – Carrie Symonds keeps the house clean for her husband making sure there’s no one nasty in Number 10! / …meanwhile her husband Boris Johnson does the absolute minimum he can get away with.

RULES OF THE GAME: Er, there aren’t any…