Society

People, politics, tech, money, sport, work and entertainment all intertwine to make up today’s ever-changing, crazy, delightful and frustrating society. The majority of my second-hand-views are about life within our society and, with a left-of-centre stance, there’s bound to be something here that gets your goat. When it does, buy a bundle of tibs, donate one to my charity of choice, Stay Close to Neve, and get it off your chest with a retort – better out than in. Have fun, be good and keep at ‘em.

we’re doomed, mr. mainwaring, doomed

Carl - December 6, 2010

Turbulent times, these. Irrespective of the colour of our political persuasion we all, either directly or indirectly, have some skin-in-the-financial-game of investments and the subsequent return on that investment. However red we (OK, I) claim to be I am inextricably linked to the free market and my financial worth (and freedom) is undeniably determined by such factors as house prices, interest rates, pension fund returns and Footsie index levels (I’ve always liked the sound of the latter more than its reality). The bad news is that that worth is imminently to take a pounding as a series of financial disasters are about to strike as we email. As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t like property developers; they’re just not my […]

i know, i know

Carl - December 2, 2010

OK, I know I promised I wouldn’t mention the ‘people’s royal wedding’ ever again but I can’t hold back on one element which has now raised it’s head on a couple of occasions. No, it’s not the venue, the ring, the bill, the dress or any of that palaver, it’s about the touchy subject of social mobility. Regardless of what happens on the day, does this extraordinary union prove the unthinkable – that true social mobility now exists in today’s society? Unbelievably, it was only one short generation ago when Lady Diana Spencer, the daughter of an Earl, was openly referred to as a ‘commoner’ by the landed and ruling gentry. But, on the face of it, Catherine Middleton appears […]

bah humbug

Carl - December 1, 2010

So, this year we are all to have ourselves an austerity little Christmas are we? The dawn of the 25th heralded in to the open sobs of children failing to see the true festive spirit of a satsuma, the plastic toy from a McDonalds’ happy meal and a handful of brazil nuts with the chocolate already sucked off! But do not despair, all is not lost. The first thing to remember is that, taking my lead from Talk Talk’s 1985 hit ‘Life’s what you make it’, Christmas is what you make it, not necessarily what the UK’s retail industry would have you make it. Let the Joneses bankrupt themselves keeping up with each other in frippery, baubles and Wiis, whilst […]

foot in mouth is nothing new

Carl - November 27, 2010

Front bench, back bench or House of Lords. Prime Ministers through the ages have long dreaded the vacuous, infantile, ridiculous, outrageous, offensive and often just downright plain silly outbursts from so-called colleagues, friends and supporters. If ever a gagging order is warranted it surely belongs to those of your own persuasion and party. Lord Young of Graffham is just the latest in a long line of illustrious contributors to the embarrassing ‘foot in mouth’ gaffe. With a runaway mouth at the best of times he was just the kind of accident waiting to happen and undoubtedly his recent ‘they’ve never had it so good’ will have gone some way to upsetting the calm of Cameron and Clegg’s weekend. Joy of […]

it’s the real thing

Carl - November 24, 2010

In doing my research for the ‘rule Britannia’ piece below (you research this rubbish? – ed) I came across a fascinating interview with rapper, ex-hustler and multi-millionaire, Jay-Z. Through his 14 years dealing on the streets I certainly feel he has something of an intimate knowledge of crack and cocaine and I thought I’d share his thoughts with you, verbatim. Most interestingly, he never touched the stuff himself and says there was a strict code among successful hustlers and often quotes the line from Al Pacino’s Scarface: don’t get high on your own supply. “Cocaine wasn’t new and neither was selling it. But crackheads were different. They got no respect. They were former neighbours, ‘aunts & uncles’, but once they […]

rule britannia

Carl - November 22, 2010

When you’re next filling in a form and you come to the address bit just pause for a second and reflect on which country do you actually live in. Is it going to be England, the United Kingdom, Britain or Great Britain, or even God forbid, Europe? To still be using ‘Great’ before ‘Britain’ can at times appear an outdated anachronism in the extreme. In the days of our gloriously aggressive all-conquering empire past it was undoubtedly deserved and would strike fear into the hearts of the few remaining countries we hadn’t yet invaded. But in this day and age is it deserved or warranted? Hell yeah! Contrary to how it may feel at certain times, Britain remains a great […]

for richer, for poorer

Carl - November 17, 2010

Though it was only announced yesterday I’m already sick to the back-teeth of the impending royal wedding. It’s not that I don’t wish the happy couple the best and all that malarkey as I do, it’s just that I’ve absolutely no interest whatsoever in the detail. The ring, the dress, the venue, the date, the service, the guests, the honeymoon, the blah, blah, blah, blah. But whilst you won’t be hearing any of this on these pages rest assured you’ll be hearing it through every other media source, whether you like it or not. The media’s obsession with all things royal continues unabated and the level of drivel they have reported in even the last 24 hours stupefies me. Currently […]

gis a job

Carl - November 16, 2010

I’ve often been told I’m quite a well-balanced kind of chap…in that I have a chip on both shoulders! One of those chips is undeniably my unswerving belief that I am working class and I remain working class. Consequently, many of you out there would expect me to be up in arms over Ian Duncan Smith’s work related welfare reforms where he’s going to force the unemployed to do unpaid work and if they fail to comply they’ll, ultimately, lose their benefit pay-outs. Well you’d be wrong. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s what I’m reading these days or maybe I’m watching too many Jeremy Kyle shows for my own good but for whatever the reason I’m pretty much all out […]

one rule for one

Carl - November 14, 2010

Regular readers will already know this Government’s current doyen Sir Peter Green and I are not the best of friends. Not content with extracting obscene tax-efficient (aka tax-avoidance) dividends ‘to his family’ he’s now been caught with his hands in the company pension pot. Upwards of 24,000 workers at Bhs have received a warning letter notifying that that, because of a £148m shortfall in the pension fund, they may not receive their full pensions. Now, I accept that’s nothing new in today’s day and age but if Sir Philip had made one or two more disciplined and less self-centred decisions then this would not be the case. In 2003, he took the (then) unusual step of extracting £214m in a […]

one a day, every day

Carl - November 10, 2010

The other day I came across the best bits of The Lost Diaries by the parodist Craig Brown and I’ve got to share one or two with you: 10 August 2002, Paul Burrell – Until now, I have said little about my relationship with Her Majesty, but the truth must now outweigh the need for me to protect her little secrets. Her majesty was a lovely lady. She thought the world of me. She would often call on her nights off. I got used to that tell-tale knock on the door. She would drum out the opening bars of the national Anthem with her clenched fist. That way, I knew it was her. I’d open the door and there she’d […]