le grand tour
Many of us are soon to be engulfed in the fun, frivolity and general all-round hysteria that accompanies July’s Tour de France. It is to cyclists what SW19 is to tennis. What lends the Tour its global appeal isn’t just the terrific exploits of endurance but the shenanigans, skulduggery and subterfuge, that have always been part & parcel of the race, and have helped cement its super-human reputation. I stand by the fact that, along with Italy’s own version (Giro), it remains the world’s toughest professional escapade. For those of you who could see yourself being intrigued here’s a wee summary of its history together with some of the terms you’re going to need to know.
Whilst the Tour has long been the world’s largest bicycle race, it wasn’t the first. It was conceived and launched in 1903 by the proprietors of French newspaper, L’Auto, in response to the success of another event, Paris-Brest-Paris. P-B-P, a monstrous race where riders cycled a non-stop 1200km from Paris as far west as land would allow them and all the way back, was being used to populise a rival sports daily. The Tour’s idea was to take a race to all parts of France as opposed to just Paris and Brittany and on 1st July 60 combatants lined up for the 467km first stage of Paris to Lyon, with the 20,000 franc first prize no-doubt on their minds. Six arduous stages later, and with only 21 riders remaining, Maurice Garin emerged the victor. Readership of L’Auto had doubled and Le Tour de France was born. Mind, you’ve got to feel for last placed, Arsene Millocheau, who finally staggered into the finishing stadium a full two days, 16 hours, 47 minutes & 22 seconds behind Garin, to the cheers of, well, probably no-one.
As well as the seemingly impossible stage mileage, the element that transformed the Tour into the greatest sporting contest in the world was the introduction, in 1910, of the high mountains, specifically the 2000m+ unmade tracks of the Pyrenees and the Alps. To many, this spectacle remains the key part of the Tour and the names Galibier, Tourmalet, Alpe d’Huez and Mont Ventoux strike fear into the heart of any cyclist. You watch them suffer on the way up and then risk life & limb in crazy out-of-control descents. YouTube owes much of its early success to the crashes of the Tour!
I’ve oft commented on this blog about drugs & doping at the Tour and it has always taken place and, without a shadow of any doubt, is still taking place. The water has been further muddied by the more recent scandal of ‘legalised doping’ where all ‘clean’ riders appear to be suffering from extreme cases of asthma and various allergies which require the permitted use of steroid TUEs (therapeutic use exemptions). One breaks the law, the other bends it beyond belief. Hang your head in shame, Bradley.
In the past all substances have been game and have included the liberal use of alcohol, caffeine, amphetamines, heroin, cocaine, human growth hormone, steroids, testosterone, EPO, and even good old rich, red blood. My own personal favourite doping line is from France’s Tour star of the 50s, Jacques Anquetil, who, when asked if he doped, replied “yes, but only when absolutely necessary”. And when asked when it had proved ‘absolutely necessary’ came back immediately with the fantastic retort “why, all the time of course!” His use and consumption was legendary, along with his daily dietary habits – he ate red meat and fish almost exclusively, without vegetables, and he did like a drop of the hard stuff now and again: “I drink a lot of alcohol, in fact far too much alcohol. I hardly ever drink water. I used to drink about four or five pints of milk a day, but now I drink beer instead.” My kinda cyclist!
So, in a couple of weeks, I shall be raising a glass to the modern-day gladiators of the Tour and wish them all a safe return. In the meantime here’s some Tour talk that may help in your understanding:
Barouder – A rider who continually attacks and tries to ride away from the main group in an attempt to win a stage. Doing so can make a rider’s career & reputation for the rest of their life.
Bidon – The plastic water bottle that is gleefully drained and hurled into the crowd.
Bonk – Bad news for any athlete or sportsman as all your energy’s gone and you’re only going to go one way, backwards!
Chute – A crash. And usually they hurt.
Domestique – The ‘gophers’ on the team. These are the riders that are there to serve and help the team leader, star sprinter or hill-climber and they do so by putting in the hard miles at the front, chasing down attacks, going back to the team car for extra bidons and pacing the stars back to the sharp-end. The terms ‘thankless’ and ‘task’ jump to mind.
Flamme rouge – The big red triangle that marks the last kilometre of the stage.
Lanterne rouge – I love this term and it refers to the final rider in the race. It’s named after the red light on a train’s rear carriage. The Gruppetto is the final group of riders, usually clinging on for dear life up in the hills and trying to encourage everyone else to do their pull at the front. I can sympathise with these riders!
Peloton – Meaning ‘little ball’ in French, this is the large group of riders who bunch together to shelter from the wind and recover their strength. Drafting can save as much as 50% of a rider’s effort and even I could ‘sit-in’ and suck a wheel/coast along with much of the peloton.
Soigneur – The staff equivalent of the domestique, a bit of a gopher who gets the food ready, fills the bidons, drives the cars and massages the legs of the riders post-race. Helluva job!
Yellow Jersey – The ‘maillot jaune’ is worn by the general classification leader, that is, the rider who has taken the least cumulative time to complete race after each stage. It’s this particular colour because the original L’Auto was printed on yellow paper! Time bonuses are available at each stage finish to ensure all possible contenders fight hard for stage wins. Each stage win is rewarded with an E11,000 prize and the princely sum of E500,000 awaits the final wearer of the yellow jersey at the Champs Elysees.
Green Jersey – Worn by the leader of the points competition, usually a sprinter in the guise of Mark Cavendish. The ‘maillot vert’ rewards the race’s most consistent race finisher based on points gained from sprints and stage placings. E25,000 for making your fellow riders green with envy.
White Jersey – Introduced in 1975, this ‘maillot blanc’ is the same as the yellow jersey but only open to the younger riders under the age of 26. The winning prize of E20,000 awaits the lucky young man.
Polka Dot Jersey – The ‘King of the Mountains’ jersey represents the race’s best climber. The superbly named ‘maillot a pois’ was contested as far back as 1933 and points are available at the top of all categorised climbs, with more points being available for the more difficult of climbs. To my mind, the E25,000 prize doesn’t seem enough for almost killing yourself over the course of the high passes.
Vive le Tour!
