world cup round-up
As the England footie team flew into Brazil to acclimatise to the very different conditions in the developing world there was a genuine and real sense of shock.
One Brazilian eye witness exclaimed his first impression “we couldn’t believe they were so poor”. Another explained “in this day and age it is difficult to believe that they are allowed to get to this state. The poverty of their defence is genuinely shocking and, as for their forwards, well it beggars belief.”
Another South American observer, rumoured to be a Uruguayan player with buck-teeth, admitted to feeling guilty when confronted by the England squad, “ you can’t help but feel sorry for them. It’s a truly pitiful sight but we’ve been instructed not to give them any goals because that sort of charity doesn’t do any good. In the long term, they just have to pull themselves up by their own very expensive boot straps”.
On a more general note, FIFA deny any wrongdoing in respect of the awarding of the 2022 world cup to Qatar with Sepp Blatter commenting “See you all in Qatar and don’t forget to fly there by Emirates, drive to the stadia in your new Hyundai, watch the highlights on your 72” Sony plasma, whilst spilling your Coca-Cola down your expensive Adidas replica shirt”. A beautiful game. Further questions include: Should developing countries give hand-outs to FIFA officials? Brazilian Strikers are the best in the world and will they bring the country to a standstill? Spot the bung competition and win the 2026 world cup!
