one armed bandits
Whilst I fully admit I’ve more than my fair share of vices, gambling isn’t one of them. Yes, if I’m fortunate enough to enjoy a day at the races I’ll have a flutter but expect nothing back from my fiver-each-way and many of the horses I’ve laid money on are probably not yet home! A pin and a jaunty set of silks account for many of my choices. Sadly, it appears our man-in-grey at the treasury, Philip Hammond, doesn’t possess my reserve or self-control, in fact the Chancellor appears to be a full-on gambling-crack addict.
Since their arrival on our high-streets in 2001, Fixed Odds Betting Terminals have proved to be a money-spinner like no other. Billions of pounds have been generated for the bookies and an equally staggering £400m each and every year heads for the nation’s coffers in gambling tax. Factual Phil has realised he can’t live without this and he’s shamefully having second-thoughts about supporting a cross-party initiative to limit the maximum bet on these malignant machines from a maximum of £100 to ‘only’ £2. With such potential stakes, massive losses can build up in minutes: in the last year, punters lost more than £1000 (or more) at a single sitting no fewer than 233,000 times.
Thankfully, I just don’t get it and the giveaway’s in the name: Fixed Odds Betting Terminals. Stating a return of 97% on the stake means I can go into my local William Hill and sell them a pound for 97p. Go figure. This strikes me as the proverbial licence to print money and Ladbrokes openly admit to making over £1000 per week, per terminal. Legislation limits the number of terminals to four per shop, which accounts for the proliferation of bookmakers on our high street: if you can generate a minimum of £4000 revenue per week just by putting four in an empty shop, why wouldn’t they, especially an industry with no moral, social or ethical compulsion?
Just a week after it emerged that two million people in the UK are at risk of gambling addiction, the online betting firm 888 has been fined a measly £7.8m for “outrageous and significant” failings, after 7,000 people who had voluntarily self-excluded themselves from gambling were still able to access their accounts. The company, based in Gibraltar for obvious ‘tax-efficiency’ reasons, failed to spot the “visible signs of problem gambling” claiming a technical failure allowed these customers were able to deposit £3.5m into their accounts, gambling over £50m in deposits and recycled winnings. One such customer was allowed to make a staggering 850,000 bets at an average of about 2,150 bets every day and if that didn’t ring warning bells then I don’t know what would.
But I’m also worried about our Chancellor’s grasp of the mathematics of today’s gambling. To my mind, the punters playing these machines aren’t the casino high-rollers in their Rolls and Rolex, they’re the poor and the desperate, and many will be on benefits, income support and tax-credits, They’re gambling with the Chancellor’s own money, 100% of the cash is already his and he’s only getting back 25% in reclaimed tax! This industry and these machines are a blight on both high street and society.
Back on the race-course I do have a confession to make: Being a midget everyone thinks I’m a jockey and fellow race-goers have often asked for advice & guidance: “Ah, yes the gray, I rode him a couple of weeks ago at Scarborough, or was it Cartmel? Either way, this ground really suits him and with the little weight he’s carrying, I’d stick twenty on the nose to win.” “But his odds are 50-1 and he’s never finished out of the bottom three in his life?” “Indeed, make it thirty!”. Oh, the money I’ve lost people. Sorry, but as Ray Winstone arrogantly and condescendingly informs, you should only bet responsibily!
