oh, go on then
Following a hiatus of several years I’ve finally admitted defeat, bitten-the-bullet and grudgingly returned to the world of full-time employment. To be honest, I’d grown a bit bored of my own company, no longer relished my mid-morning dip in chlorinated child’s wee, and knew that the writing was on the wall when I recognised, by name, one of Bargain Hunt’s antique specialists at Waterloo Station. Yep, definitely time to go back to the dark side. But at least I’d be able to get back into the workday habit of the boozy client lunch. Or so I thought.
Along with smoking on buses, paying for anything in cash, and driving without your seat belt on, the lunchtime drink has definitely become the business equivalent of a persona non-gratis. Obviously, boozy lunches aren’t illegal; however, suggesting, ordering or partaking of a nice daytime tipple is nothing short of a conspiracy. Furthermore, the dreaded ‘no, not for me thanks, water’s just fine’ really does confirm that whatever you’re going to do, could, and should, have been done over the phone. Last week, four of us squeezed every last drop out of only one bottle of a lovely South American Malbec, which in itself was almost as heinous a crime.
Yes, of course drinking at lunchtime is stupid, irresponsible and makes you give away far more discounts than you would ever have dreamt of before the second bottle, but that’s what makes it such fun! One glass makes you a tad more relaxed and a lot more fun. Two and you’re in the dangerous afternoon-nap territory. So have a third and your newly discovered over-confidence ensures that just one more won’t do any harm. One is controversial. Two is sedition. Three is revolution. Four and we’re storming the barricades and coming for your first-born.
