mind games
It seems ages since I last had a dig at Silicon Valley and it would appear that in the meantime California’s finest have moved on from designing ‘next-generation’ sexting apps, driverless cars or take-away drone-delivery services. The current hot-cake of investment within the circles of Harvard & Stamford elite is brain hacking. Just as, back in the 70s, our tech titans began engineering with motherboard and chip, so the current crop are attempting the same but engineering the human mind for optimal performance is now the name of the game.
‘Nootropics’, a concoction of performance-enhancing drugs and compounds such as modafinil, eleuthero, L-theanine, rhodiola and piracetam, have been used to treat everything from Alzheimer’s to ADHD. It’s the biohackers ambition to turn these into quantifiable, manageable and commercially approved commodities by which we can micro-dose ourselves into a focused, higher-plane of self-enlightenment and performance. The new well-funded kid on the block, is Nootrobox, and they are keen to raise their appeal beyond the current subscribers of stressed-out students, over-wired gamers and success-obsessed investment managers.
The magic pills come in several varieties. Rise is designed to be taken when you wake-up and kick-starts your day the biohacking way. Sprint, a combination of caffeine and vitamins supposedly provides a four-hour window of total focus, whilst the magnesium based Yawn then takes the edge off the day and guides you to a deep and restful eight hours‘ kip. And let’s not forget the omega -3 and vitamin D pill for sun-derived cubicle drones and the pick-me-up coffee-flavoured caffeine laced Go Cubes. Oh, and they also advocate fasting and the avoidance of alcohol and other stimulants. No sh*t, Sherlock.
Call me dim-witted but doesn’t all of today’s western society, perhaps since the invention of the espresso machine in late 19th century Turin, start the day with a massive caffeine-kick? Does anyone consider it a top-notch idea to hit the cappuccinos anything past early evening if a bit of shut-eye is the order of the day? A key presentation in the afternoon ain’t going to go to plan if you’ve just enjoyed a three-course lunch, a lovely Chateauneuf du Pape and are experiencing a glycaemic crash of seismic proportions. Feeling a bit drained? Hold the Kado-3 and go for a good brisk walk in the fresh air and feel the sun (or rain) on your face. It works wonders. Need to get things done? A double-Columbian, avoid the Whopper and stay off the sauce. Even Elon Musk would struggle to dress this load of codswallop up as rocket-science. Neurobiologists remain sceptical, the FDA are unconvinced and the founders of Nootrobox are adamant their lack of pharmacological expertise does not impede them or affect the product’s long-term viability.
Brain hacking is an attitude, a movement that could only have sprung forth from the west coast, where it’s believed a marginal, miniscule artificially-induced improvement in cognitive function could make the difference between being a god amongst your peers and, well, a bit of a kn*b. Masters of the universe? Nah, more masters of the bleedin’ obvious!
