i ink, therefore, i am
David Dimbleby was 75; Lady Steel (David Steel’s wife) was 70; I 49, when we all lost our virginity, our collective tattoo virginity that is. And believe it or not, our very own King of Gaffs – The Duke of Edinburgh – even has one, though precious little is actually known of it. Mr Dimbleby claimed that he has always wanted one and that finally biting the bullet, so to speak, is his dream come true. I on the hand, brought up by an errant and tattooed ol’ man, had it drummed into me from an early age to not be the pillock that he had been. Furthermore, I was continually thwarted in trying to find out who exactly the ‘Avril’ was that inhabited his fading heart & scroll (top right arm); my mother’s Irene!
Be it 49, 70 or 75, I suspect David, Judy and I represent one extreme end of the tattoo-age spectrum. The yuff of today appear to my uninitiated eye to be universally tattoo-clad and it’s almost more of a surprise to meet an inbetweener who has managed to resist the fashionable urge and remained un-inked. So are they getting tattooed to fit in, or to stick out? At the risk of quoting from Month Python’s ‘Life of Brian’: Brian: “You don’t NEED to follow ME, You don’t NEED to follow ANYBODY! You’ve got to think for yourselves! You’re ALL individuals! The Crowd: Yes. We’re all individuals!”
Don’t tell me, let me guess? It all started off as an angsty act of teenage rebellion. Then when all your pals decided to rebel as well, you had to go one step further and get another. And another. Even I can see a pattern here: they all think they’re standing out when in reality they’re all fitting in. Same monkey different tribe and all that. Me? Without a doubt I was one of the few individuals truly standing out as, to the best of my knowledge, the vast majority of my fashionable friends & trendy acquaintances remain untainted. Oh, yeah, maybe I’d forgotten my M-dot tattoo is so beloved of ALL those ironman race competitors the world over. Fitting in it is then.
And my dad’s name? Brian. You couldn’t make it up.
