head for the hills
Following the lukewarm reception to my earlier ‘insect apocalypse’ ditty I thought I’d continue in a similar vein with a further dystopian view on our apparently inevitable demise. Last month’s decision by the New Zealand government to ban non-resident foreigners from being able to buy homes and tracts of ‘self-sustainable’ land has brought the subject of ‘prepping’ back into media consciousness. Although representing only 3% of all property transactions, many of the Kiwi country’s higher value purchases are being undertaken by West Coast tech tycoons, East Coast flash financiers and shady Bitcoin billionaires.
I first came across the concept of ‘doomsdayers’ preparing (prepping) for an anticipated apocalypse some twenty years ago in the run-up to the Millennium. Rumour had it that a group of senior Microsoft (remember them?) employees had been set the task of analysing the potential outcome from the impending ‘Millenium Bug’ date change from 99 to 00 on the world’s massed automation systems. Their subsequent prediction of the future was so bleak (planes falling from the sky, the complete financial system in meltdown, anarchy on the streets resembling ‘The Purge’) that the Microserfs grabbed what they could and ran to the hills, never to be seen again. Until probably the 2nd January 2000 as, thankfully, that two-digit click proved not to be beyond the wit of man and we lived to tell the tale!
The most basic of prepping represents not much more than the sensible approach to Brexit: stockpiling tinned beans, sharpening a knife, fattening-up the pets and investing in a pair of night-vision goggles. The more adventurous however, anticipating a whole range of potential disasters from civil war to catastrophic climate change, pandemic to dirty bomb, are buying bolt-holes with independent water provision, food supplies and electricity generators. Not content with a blast-protected $3m apartment in the nuclear missile silo, Survival Condo Project, where armed guards will pick-up owners in armoured vehicles, many of America’s elite are now looking further afield. According to Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, “Saying you’re ‘buying a house in New Zealand’ is kind of nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more…”. Sounds more like an invite to a swinging party and does nothing to encourage me to rejoin the sharp-elbowed site.
By encouraging themselves to continually think ‘out of the box’ Silicon Valley appears to reward itself for the extreme, polarised, disruptional view: all or nothing, utopia or dystopia, good or bad, dead or alive, and I can only assume this has led a level of ‘elite anxiety’ where they are happy to see themselves as some form of cross between Mad Max and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. However, the problem is that the more complex your plan the more difficult it becomes to execute. If society begins to fall-apart then firing up the Lear and heading to your New Zealand ranch may prove a tad problematic. What if the earthquake has damaged the runway? The Tsunami sunk your escape boat? The pilot is infected with SARS? Or, God-forbid, he decided to fly his family to safety as opposed to his employer! Yes, Brad Pitt made it look easy in World War Z but he had Harvey Weinstein in his corner.
Now, just before we, on this side of the Atlantic, get too smug, pious and self-righteous, Europe’s only survival shop, selling everything from crossbows to confederate flags and bibles to bullets, is located on a farm just outside Bedford. Furthermore, Preppers Shop UK is apparently bucking recent retail trends by doing great business but I’m unsure which I fear the most, perishing in the apocalypse or having to shop in Bedfordshire!
