a long time ago in a land far, far away…
Before he realised he’d bitten-off more than he could chew with his Iranian escapade, ol’ Tiny Hands Trump decided that he’d have a pop at us for our reticence in joining the party and attempt to undermine our legitimate sovereignty of the Falkland Islands. Our once-favourite ally is considering punishing the UK and our (current) “no Churchill” PM by removing diplomatic support for our “imperial possessions” and ownership of the bleak South Atlantic overseas territory, is apparently, up for grabs.
Until this petulant outburst the Falkland Islands had kinda fallen off the map somewhat but over forty years ago it was in the eye of the storm when Argentina invaded, triggering a shorty but bl**dy war: 258 British and Gurkha lives lost, along with almost 700 Argentinians, six British ships sunk, 34 aircraft destroyed and #10bn spent. Oh, and the making of an ex-Prince into a hero. Almost.
Back then, there were approximately 1,800 inhabitants in the Falklands, a British farming community mostly descended from hardy Scottish settlers and once accurately described by Denis Thatcher as “miles and miles of b*gger all”. The islands had changed hands repeatedly over the 18th and early 19th century, but Argentina never gave up its claim to the Malvinas. Crucially, there was never any indigenous population here and in a 2013 referendum, all but three voters (that’s three, not thirty or three hundred) elected to remain a self-governing British territory. To this day no one seems to know who the three renegades were! Britain is rightly used to cringing at its imperial sins, but when it comes to the Falklands at least, there’s no need.
However, war changed everything and the Falklands are a very different proposition today. And maybe, just maybe, this could be influencing Trump’s actions?
The conflict generated unprecedented economic support from Britain, and also gave the islanders a future to believe in and a point to prove. Thanks to fishing revenue the Falklands are now surprisingly far wealthier per capita than Britain and, with over sixty resident nationalities and a doubled population size, equally cosmopolitan. The war ushered in a 180-mile fishing exclusion zone and the sale of licences sold to fleets of Spanish, Korean and Taiwanese ships account for the healthy #200m GDP, making the inhabitants around the fifth richest people in the world, right up there with Luxembourg, Qatar and Switzerland! Understandably, Falklanders look at the motherland today – huge national debt, cost-of-living crisis, rife inequality, racial and regional division – and consider themselves rather fortunate.
But what interest does the perennial Burger Boy have in this fishy wonderland I hear you ask? None I would agree but since 2010 huge, untouched and viable oil reserves have been found. Aha. Argentina’s President Milei, an unashamed MAGA poster child and Trump favourite, has already starting rearming and recently bought twenty-four F-16 fighter jets from Denmark. Uh oh. We all know Trump’s a bully who likes to throw his considerable weight around, witness Venezuela and Greenland as proof, and this could indeed prove to be a desert-storm in the proverbial tea-cup, but it’s certainly one to watch and keep our beady on.
Out of sight by 8,000 miles perhaps but the Falkland Isles should not be out of mind and let’s remember that, as 1982’s conflict helped save the then PM, Margaret Thatcher, maybe another one could do the same for Keir Starmer!
