I just can’t figure them out: queueing in the pub for, more often than not, zero-alcohol drinks; not smoking, not even dope; watching football but without an urge to cause aggro; practicing mindfulness and looking-out for their friends; attending church; Deliveroo on speed-dial but eating vegetables; being conservation-savvy whilst recycling everything; walking, cycling and not even learning to drive. Not like it was in my day.

I’m Carl - my phone isn’t smart, I’ve never sent a tweet, I'll never pose for a selfie, and I’m not my son's friend on Facebook. In fact, I’m no-one’s friend on Facebook. I read, I digest and I regurgitate with my spin on the things that matter. To me.

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