things we should know before we go…
The King has cancer. That’s Life’s Ester Rantzen has cancer. Even super-fit Chris Hoy has cancer. With half of Britons predicted to get cancer at some point during their lives we all probably know someone who has cancer. The good news is that the majority survive the diagnosis and live with it. Ten year survival rates for many cancers can be in the high 90% and, if caught early enough, most cancers are now removable and/or curable.
Yet cancer still possesses the image of a potent agent of imminent death, indestructible and resistant to cure. History doesn’t help: When US president, Grover Cleveland, had his cancerous jaw removed, it was for ‘chronic toothache’; George VI reportedly died of ‘coronary thrombosis’ not lung cancer; and poor old Neville Chamberlain wasn’t even told that he himself was dying of bowel cancer. The taboo of cancer ran deep.
In the 1970s gun-toting-larger-than-life-big-leggy John Wayne was praised for revealing he had stomach cancer, but this in turn started the language of violence that now lies at the heart of the disease. Patients do not suffer from cancer, they fight it. They go into battle against cancer and will either win or lose the battle. By implication they have to scrap tooth-and-nail and their optimism for victory is paramount. Furthermore, they’re not cured but go into remission and have to remain constantly vigilant, on guard against its return. Macmillan have long stated that sufferers are sick and tired of being told to tough it out and go to war against the disease.
However, after the shock of a terminal diagnosis, many, apparently, feel a clarity about what really matters. T’other week, The Grauniad interviewed thirty terminally ill people, of all ages, and asked how the diagnosis had personally affected them. Notwithstanding the world cruises, visible tattoos and two-fingers to the boss, they all pretty much sang from the same hymn sheet and here, in short and in their own words, are the concurrent themes:
- Life is most likely going to be short, so on good days, really live. Do anything you want. Anything that doesn’t make your heart sing is less important.
- Get up, get dressed and get out.
- Have a purpose. Do something creative, learn something new and enjoy life to the last breath.
- Forget about the car and the house. And the ironing. What really matters is love, relationships, kindness and caring for people.
- It’s not about the quantity of time, it’s about quality and having a positive impact on those around.
- Be as spontaneous as possible. Try not to say no and never make excuses. What’s the worst that can happen?
- You can’t change yesterday. Do some good today. Smile.
- Don’t mess around. Be direct. Don’t care too much about what people think and try to live free-spirited.
- It is what it is. Get your affairs sorted, say goodbye to those that matter and ignore everyone you’ve ever tolerated or disliked.
- Don’t waste time. And don’t moan, as, even if you’re dying, no-one likes a moaner.
Yep, I know what you’re thinking, we could all do with a bit more of that, even without the non-negotiable diagnosis. Go to it and enjoy the day ahead.
