mayday, mayday
Christine Thomas, you have a lot to answer for.
The Romans called it Floralia and the Celts branded it Beltane, but since medieval times it’s been known as May Day, a celebration of seeing the back of winter and the welcoming of summer, complete with a mug of warm mead, a maypole and, for those imbibed with too much mead, a spot of morris dancing.
Back in my day I also remember it as a day of trades union banners, of Sunday school processions and marching past the Public Hall (admittedly on the way to the Whitsun fair for a bag of parched-peas, a shy at the coconuts and a spin on the waltzer). For me, May Day has always been synonymous with workers and a general celebration of the Labour movement (not necessarily to be confused with The Labour Party) but now, in a blatantly symbolic and politically motivated move, the coalition wants to cancel the May Day bank holiday without further ado and replace it with a ‘UK Day’ sometime in October.
Currently under serious consideration is a day-off to celebrate what Ministers are describing as ‘the best of British’. Apparently, the intention is that the label ‘UK Day’ create a nationalistic celebration akin to St Andrew’s Day in Scotland, St Patrick’s Day in Ireland and St David’s Day in Taff Land. And there was me thinking we already had St George’s Day ideally positioned for that effect?
So what pray, does the coalition propose exactly that we should celebrate that doesn’t already constitute the best of British? Could it be our proactive and leading involvement within the eventual abolishment of slavery? Or perhaps a celebration of the suffragette movement? What about our industrial heritage and engineering legacy to the rest of the world? Maybe the pioneering spirit which created the universally praised NHS? Make a mention of Trafalgar, Nelson, Wellington, Churchill and Geoff Hurst? Surely it must touch upon our recognition of workers’ rights and adoption of collective bargaining with an acceptance of the strong protecting the weak? Dream on.
Oh no, the false idol which the coalition would have us all worship is indicated by the actual department chosen to lead the debate and propose the change, The Department for Tourism, Media, Culture & Sport! Tourism minister John Penrose, explains “tourism businesses in the UK are brilliant at providing a quality experience all year round, but government should play its part in helping them and stretching the tourist season beyond the summer holidays would enable this.” Notwithstanding the fact that I personally wouldn’t trust any grown man who uses the term ‘brilliant’ in normal conversation or displays a penchant for PR spin with everything proving to be ’an experience’, I for one don’t feel particularly buoyed by celebrating the chasing of the proverbial golden dollar. Furthermore, May Day was rebranded ‘Americanisation Day’ in the US. Is anyone surprised by that? Do we have to be selfish, self-absorbed and so easily given to greed? We ignore history at our peril and as is oft quoted: if history is to be ignored, mistakes will be repeated.
The irony is that I for one should be thankful to see the back of anything to do with a maypole. Just to prove that p*ss-taking was alive and kicking in the North of England during the late 60s, the teachers organising that year’s celebrations thought it’d be a hoot and a half to team the smallest boy in the school with the largest girl. Needless to say, the fact that my feet never once touched the ground during the subsequent ten minute twirling and whirling, was greeted with howls of approval by everyone there assembled. I, on the other hand, carry the scars with me to this day and no dance floor is approached without trepidation and a furtive glance over my shoulder. Christine, I know you’re out there and you have so much to answer for!
