full english
Most Saturday mornings, after a strenuous effort in the pool, I usually reward myself, and completely undo all the good work, with a full English fry-up. So, now that a no-deal Brexit is all but done & dusted and obvious to one and all that we’re out at the end of October without the deal Bumble Boris so disingenuously desires, the question on the nation’s lips is how will this Full English Brexit impact my Full English Breakfast?
Eggs & Fried Bread – The good news is that Britain is almost entirely self-sufficient on the egg front, and furthermore, you can enjoy your Burford Browns with a clear conscience as, following Edwina’s salmonella slip-up, we lead the way wrt free-range and organic chicken & hen welfare. The same is almost true for wheat and bread production, although we have been known to import raw material from both France and Germany if we suffer a poor harvest. During the last decade our tastes in the humble sliced-white have radically changed and we now manufacture a whole range of breads once traditionally associated with Europe such as sourdough, rye, focaccia, pretzels and baguettes. On the whole though, we’ll be fine.
Grilled Tomatoes – Notwithstanding that tomato is a fruit, there’s not much in the way of fruit and veg in a full English. Which is just as well as almost 80% of the UK’s vegetables comes from the European community and over 40% of our fruit intake comes via the Channel. As we are only 20% tomato-self-sufficient expect the price of your humble tom to rise by at least 5%. Ditto, if you’re a tomato sauce dolloper.
Bangers & Bacon – The UK pork industry is alive & squealing but, perhaps due to its successful ad campaigns of the 70s and 80s, we do still import a great deal of Danissshhhh bacon. Also, as we export a proportion of our sausage and pork products, post-Brexit bacon prices could rise and sausage prices could fall.
Mushrooms – Relax, we’re completely 100% self-sufficient in our fungi production but who, in their right mind and irrespective how they voted in 2016’s divisive referendum, has mushrooms in their fry-up!
