I am being left-behind, of that I’m in no doubt. I’ve never caught even an episode, let alone a box-set, of Mad Men, 24, Breaking Bad, Missing or Game of Thrones. I have no idea who won yesterday’s X-Factor and don’t have a clue as to who’s in the running for this year’s Strictly prize. Smart phones are way too smart for me and, until the recent political hoo-ha, I’d not heard of Candy Crush. And I don’t care. But secretly I do. Is there something wrong with me?

If anything I think I may have the opposite of an addictive personality: a non-addictive, lethargic and non-committal personality. I just don’t get hooked. Chocolate? Take it or leave it. Nicotine? Nah, I was worried it was going to stunt my growth and when I’d stopped growing I wasn’t cool enough to carry it off. Caffeine? Yeah, I’ll have a cup of ‘mid-cycle Sunday morning coffee’ but otherwise, no thanks. Fancy a flutter? My, hasn’t the Grand National come around quickly. A quick pint? OK, now you’re talking but one swallow does not a summer make! All in all, I’m alright Jack, but I can’t help feeling like I’m missing out on something, and everyone else is glad for me to be missing out on it…

I’m Carl - my phone isn’t smart, I’ve never sent a tweet, I'll never pose for a selfie, and I’m not my son's friend on Facebook. In fact, I’m no-one’s friend on Facebook. I read, I digest and I regurgitate with my spin on the things that matter. To me.

Notify me when Carl has posted another rant:

Leave this field empty if you're human:

If you’ve found my blog interesting or useful, please donate a tib to the charity ‘Stay Close to Neve’.

Tibit: The token of your appreciation online