you’re fired

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At the risk of sounding like some crazed Alan Sugar-esque character, I have had the misfortune of both making people redundant, and, in some instances, firing them. To even up the equation I have also been fired, and for gross misconduct no less. If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly! Consequently, it was with disbelief that I read about the ‘Hello There’ memo, sent out by Microsoft’s Executive Vice President, Stephen Elop, when recently firing 12,500 employees.

So wordy and corporate-jargon filled was the 1200 word document that it’s already become a template of how NOT to communicate bad news to your (soon to be) previous employees. Here’s what we can learn from Mr Elop:

Don’t be overly chatty – ‘Hello there’ is fine from a grown-up encouraging a seven year old in the school sport’s day long jump but less so from a supposed corporate leader, especially when the jocularity begins and ends there. Hello there, you’re fired.

Get to the point – And get to it, soon as. Only towards the end of the memo does he actually mention that thousands of jobs are to go. Also, mentioning it in a casual or cavalier manner shows you have no true understanding of the nature and importance of work to your employees.

Get to the point – Did I mention get to the point? Get to the point with simple and straight-forward language. Readers should not have to ‘read into it’ to get the point so avoid waffle and corporate jargon. Elop’s eulogy was rammed with ‘appropriate financial envelopes’, ‘ramp-downs’ and ‘ecosystems’, whatever they are.

Take responsibility – The more the author uses ‘strategy’ or, even worse, ‘corporate strategy’ the more you fear he has nothing to say. It’s also a catch-all for avoiding any level of responsibility – ‘not my fault, the corporation made me do it’. ‘Align’ is almost as bad as it’s never going to be clear what needs lining up or why they need to be lined up in the first place! Mr Elop kindly used it on six occasions. No excuses Stephen, you mucked up on this occasion and, as the numbers being released highlight, it wasn’t for the first time.