shakespeare in swimwear

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T’other day I caught a glimpse of myself in a heated debate concerning a subject that divides the nation, pits father against son, mother against daughter, polarises opinion wrt leave or remain and currently engulfs the majority of media airtime, and let me tell you a pretty sight it wasn’t. Yes, Love Island’s back on the tele and you need to decide what side of the divide you’re on. No, of course I’ve not seen it, not one second, but, as I’d heard Radio 4’s John Humphrys’ chairing a debate entitled ‘Too Soon to Spoon?’ I didn’t need to and, anyhow, when have I ever let personal experience or knowledge get in front of a good argument?

Forget the Tiny Hands/King Kim summit, the annexation of the other Island, and any impending World Cup implosion, the return of the programme heralds the greatest single ongoing threat to modern civilisation. It’s the end of the world as we know it. Nothing less. To my mind, this further dumbing down of our society is the natural extension of our shallow swipe-left society and continues the trend set by Big Brother, I’m Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and Gogglebox. None of which I’ve seen either.

So, from what I can gather it involves a group of young, lithe and incredibly attractive individuals being stranded on a desert island without any discs but an unhealthy supply of skimpy clothes, warm cava and testosterone. They’re then expected to pair-up, swap partners and cop-off. Hhhmmm, a bit like normal life then? Furthermore, from the piccies I’ve seen, I suspect they’ve all worked harder on their pecs than I did on my A level Physics (for the record an Unclassified/’U’ grade was my reward) and the single-digit body fat percentages display a level of self-control I have sadly never possessed.

It’s just a TV programme and the beauty of today’s democratic society is that I still have the right to either turn it off, or change channel. Love Island ain’t for me, nor would I  want to be on a beach, in my Speedos, with any of those blokes in sand-kicking distance, but I would defend the right of any viewer to watch it, to the bitter end. As an antidote  to today’s reality and, with the lovely Hayley worrying that Brexit will result in the felling of all our trees, it’s little wonder some people find the show irresistible. The cultural elite need to get with the programme!