on your boris bike, boris

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If it wasn’t over such an important society-impacting subject, I’d be quite enjoying the in-fighting pickle the tories currently find themselves embroiled in, especially seeing how viciously Downing Street has rounded on beastly Boris. Now that battle-lines have been drawn it’s certainly open-season and the way that Matthew Parris put the boot in had to be seen to be believed. And this from an ex-far-right MP who once took place in, for those old enough to remember it, a World in Action Special where he tried (and failed miserably) to live on the dole for two weeks in an attempt to prove those on unemployment benefit were all scrounging layabouts. Sponging a pint off a working miner in the working men’s club wasn’t Matthew’s moral high point.

So, when Matthew explained that this ‘dangerous charmer’, was anything but fun, all ears pricked up: “Incompetence is not funny. Policy vacuum is not funny. A careless disregard for truth is not funny. Creeping ambition in a jester’s cap is not funny.” And it’s not just his need to play to the crowd in the gladiatorial pit of today’s media-driven political amphitheatre, it’s his blatant lack of ability to actually achieve anything of note. Ouch. Even fellow Etonian, and ex-con, Jonathan Aitken waded in and pointed out that the befuddled opportunist has ‘learned to oil’ and that he ‘values the glib’.

And his own optimism about the economics of Brexit is delightfully contradicted by his own advisor who points out, whilst trying to argue the same case, that our economy has undeniably flourished over the last 30 years, that London is home to 40% of Europe’s top companies, 60% of global companies have been it their HQ, and that by leaving London would be depressed for many years to come. Uh oh, go figure.