I recently came across a footnote informing me that no less than the pope himself wanted to alter a line of the Lord’s Prayer, from ‘lead us not into temptation’ to ‘do not let us fall into temptation’. Apparently, he thought it necessary to point out to us that any succumbing to potential temptation was entirely of our own doing, and not the ‘special one’s’ fault.
Following last week’s raft of pre-election promises from ‘hey-big-spenders’ Sajid Javid and John McDonnell, and the publishing of the worst performance figures since records began, it’s widely agreed that the NHS is on the critical list. And it isn’t even officially winter yet.
So, picture the scene. Lounging on his back in the New York mansion of his pal, Jeffery Epstein, Randy Andy is receiving a foot massage from a young, well-groomed Russian woman. Other men are in the room receiving a similar service, including international tech author, Evgeny Morozov, who revealed the undisputed spectacle.
Living on me jack-jones means I often have a spare room going begging. Several months ago I offered its use to a homeless charity…only for it to be declined. WTF. How very dare they! So, I did what any self-respecting capitalist would do and explored the possibility of making some quick cash via Airbnb. Mind, as I was to find out, getting paid for your guest bedroom isn’t as straightforward as it sounds.
Get Brexit done. People’s vote. B*llocks to Brexit. Leave. Remain. Backstop. Withdrawal agreement. Customs union. Article 50. Surrender bill. Divorce settlement. Dither and delay. Operation Yellowhammer. Transition period. Political declaration. Deal. No deal. In. Out. In. Out. Shake it all about.
Will you be watching X Factor tonight? No, me neither. And as the ratings indicate not many will be doing so. With viewing numbers falling off the proverbial cliff edge, the once head-to-head-with-Strictly-rags-to-riches vehicle now sees itself rounded upon by the likes of Countryfile and Antiques Roadshow. Oh Simon, how the high-waisted have fallen!
What do you call someone who can speak three languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who can speak two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who can speak only one language? British. Boom-Boom. I’m here all week.
As an indication of how the UK follows the lead of the US we are oft heard quoting the phrase ‘when America sneezes, Britain catches a cold’ and it never seems more pertinent than our yearly adoption of their imminent Halloween and ‘Trick or Treat’ seasonal frivolities. However, as these continue to get out of hand, I feel it’s time to call it a day and curtail our slavish participation.
Notwithstanding today’s rubber-stamping exercise by the House of Lords and irrespective of our personal political machinations over Brexit and the woes of our collective two-party system, we now know there’s going to be another general election. Thursday 12th December if it’s not already in your little black book. All well & good I hear you say and not before time but do we appreciate the cost of an election and just exactly how many millions of pounds are spent in getting us to make our mark in the box that says yeah or nay?
Twenty four little…er, periods of just over two weeks. Well, If you’re Adam Neumann, WeWork’s founder and CEO, about forty billion US to be precise. Adopting the loud-mouth slot recently vacated by Elon Musk following his own annus horribilis, Neumann, who openly boasted of the belief he was both going to be the world’s first trillionaire and would live forever, has every reason to feel sorry for himself but is he really to blame for his spectacular downfall? Behave, of course he is.