Disruptors? Don’t you just love ‘em. Giving us exactly what we want, when we want it, often without us even knowing we wanted it. And always cheaper. Mind, more often than not their premise is more ‘left’ field than ‘level-playing’ and last week’s unanimous supreme court ruling on gig-economy golden boy, Uber, could not have been more emphatic.
Mark Twain famously quipped ‘Buy land – they aren’t making it any more’ but it wasn’t this maxim that taught us the value of property and the rules therein, it was Elizabeth Magie’s bestselling invention, The Landlord’s Game.
I fully acknowledge my role in the recent downfall of both Debenhams and Sir Scumbag’s Arcadian empire. The former saw a loss of 118 stores, the latter over 400. The blame for John Lewis’s closure of eight of its sites and Boots shutting its opticians stores can also be laid at my door.
The British predilection for queuing is well known and, unlike our once absolute adherence to international law, remains universally respected. It’s not only a sign of manners but an indication of our endearing patience, of how we can clear our heads of clutter, think of very little, quietly stand in line and obediently await our turn. However, next time you’re in one, have a good look around and see what you notice?
As we Zoom through the current lockdown it is genuinely heart-warming to know that both the vaccine is, dependent upon your age and condition, winging its way to us sometime very soon and that The Hon. Kate Bingham, vaccine tsar, has hit a rare stride of governmental competence in its successful distribution. I sincerely doff my flat-cap in her general direction and patiently await my turn in the queue to be told “you’ll feel just a little prick”. Again.
Cards on the table. I want Scotland to have another independence referendum and I want them to bloody this Government’s collective nose. I want the Scottish nation to actively show Boris Johnson the error of his Brexit ways and I want him shunned for the rest of his natural.
Now that Brexit’s done, the moon-shot achieved and our response to the pandemic the envy of the whole world, I feel the time is nigh to turn my focus to the developing situation north of the border. Boris Johnson will always be the Prime Minister who took Britain out of the EU but could he also be the one responsible for breaking up the United Kingdom?
Phew. TFFT. So, the fateful 20th January 2021 and the inauguration of President Biden mercifully passed without major event. Being an avid Jack Reacher reader I was genuinely concerned that fiction of the alt-right could easily become fact.
I make no apologies for lifting this, verbatim, from the superbly satirically-crafted pages of our premier finger-pointing rag, Private Eye. God Bless Ian Hislop and all who sail in him.
One of my guilty pleasures during the current lockdown was tuning in to the nightly broadcasting of the marginally less difficult, Christmas University Challenge, where alumni of their august institutions pitched-up to show us exactly how much they had forgotten from the halcyon days of their further education.